What I wish I Knew (the good, the weird, and the ugly)
Posted by Amanda Aaronson at 2:11 PM
We've recently found out that Phil's sister is expecting in September, which has made me reminisce a little about expecting MY first, and what that was like. Such a blissful, and awesome time (every pregnancy is awesome, but after the first you don't have as much opportunity to appreciate it!).
It also made me think about the things I wish I had known.
Regarding Pregnancy:
- It's totally normal to use up the razor in one shaving, and while I should probably replace it every time, I still leave it in the shower caddy for my husband to use! BWA HA HA!
- I should hold off on grabbing my husband's hand the first few times I feel baby kick on the outside, and not force him to wait half an hour for a bump that isn't necessarily going to happen right away...
- Crying at car commercials is also normal... weird, but normal.
- Being pregnant is apparently a license to others to break out in their own labour horror stories, that and to touch your belly. Why the latter, I'll NEVER understand, although the former, I get - reliving your experience is cathartic (although they always tell the BAD stories, and not so much the good ones... I always try to remember to tell my good story, although I have one of each).
- It is also open season when you're pregnant for neighbours and coworkers to share their opinions on gender and names. Like we have ANY control over what the gender is when the baby is already IN there, and quite frankly, if I wanna name my baby after great-aunt Bertha, y'all had darned well better be prepared to LOVE it!
Regarding Childbirth:
- It's okay to feel like the HUMAN BEING who just came out of your BODY is a total alien, and not to feel completely bonded right away. Some people do, others do not. It's amazing, and I loved those critters, but wow, did they really just come OUT of me?!?
- You're also never prepared for the extreme, overwhelming, all-consuming love you'll feel for your child. Hokey? You bet, but completely true. I was a blubbering mess in the early days of my children's lives. Suddenly you understand why people are willing to take bullets for their children, or run into burning bedrooms to save them etc etc...
- It's essential to learn as much as you can about birth, and labour interventions, and risks involved thereof, so that you can make truly educated decisions with regard to your care. Some increase risk, and others make the best of risk that is already there. After a birth that was wraught with intervention, fear, and risk, I learned everything I could in order to minimize those risks the next time around. I had a completely different birth experience the second time around, and it was AMAZING.
- Breastfeeding doesn't always come easily. My first had trouble, my second took to it instantly, and never let go. Regardless of those early days, it DOES get better, and it IS worth it. Just have a good supply of lanolin (I recommend PureLan 100) around, and the number of a lactation consultant, just in case! Oh, yeah, and breast pads - I didn't have any before baby came the first time around, and when the milk comes in you might just leak, but if you use the lanolin, you'll want to use them as well. I asked the hospital staff to order some for me before I left. The second time I wasn't there long enough... but I had prepurchased them.
- DEPENDS DEPENDS DEPENDS... I highly recommend buying some of these and using them (even in the hospital if you birth there) instead of the fishnet underwear and massive maxipads they provide. These were much more comfy, and far less likely to leak.
After baby comes:
- Your hair does fall out, in handfuls! I thought I was going bald, and something was horribly wrong with me, but this is normal! You don't shed as much when you're pregnant, and your hair grows at a faster rate, and is thicker - after all those hormones leave your body, that extra (and some extra) has to go... you will level back out to normal.
- You WILL adjust to the sleep deprivation - and either figure out how to nap, or just learn how to do alright on less sleep. You won't sleep on your own schedule again for quite a few years!
- Accept all the help offered to you (but don't be afraid to say "no visitors" in the earliest weeks if you just want to adjust to being the three of you), if people offer help, take it in the forms of prepared meals, holding baby so you can take showers (or leisurely baths), or help around the house. This time I'm definitely having the cleaning lady come in a few more times around the delivery! But meals are a big one, for sure!
Hmm, I'm sure this list is a work in progress, I'll have to think more on it, and get back to it, but for now I should go rescue my existing kids from the overwhelming pull of the all-powerful boob tube.
It also made me think about the things I wish I had known.
Regarding Pregnancy:
- It's totally normal to use up the razor in one shaving, and while I should probably replace it every time, I still leave it in the shower caddy for my husband to use! BWA HA HA!
- I should hold off on grabbing my husband's hand the first few times I feel baby kick on the outside, and not force him to wait half an hour for a bump that isn't necessarily going to happen right away...
- Crying at car commercials is also normal... weird, but normal.
- Being pregnant is apparently a license to others to break out in their own labour horror stories, that and to touch your belly. Why the latter, I'll NEVER understand, although the former, I get - reliving your experience is cathartic (although they always tell the BAD stories, and not so much the good ones... I always try to remember to tell my good story, although I have one of each).
- It is also open season when you're pregnant for neighbours and coworkers to share their opinions on gender and names. Like we have ANY control over what the gender is when the baby is already IN there, and quite frankly, if I wanna name my baby after great-aunt Bertha, y'all had darned well better be prepared to LOVE it!
Regarding Childbirth:
- It's okay to feel like the HUMAN BEING who just came out of your BODY is a total alien, and not to feel completely bonded right away. Some people do, others do not. It's amazing, and I loved those critters, but wow, did they really just come OUT of me?!?
- You're also never prepared for the extreme, overwhelming, all-consuming love you'll feel for your child. Hokey? You bet, but completely true. I was a blubbering mess in the early days of my children's lives. Suddenly you understand why people are willing to take bullets for their children, or run into burning bedrooms to save them etc etc...
- It's essential to learn as much as you can about birth, and labour interventions, and risks involved thereof, so that you can make truly educated decisions with regard to your care. Some increase risk, and others make the best of risk that is already there. After a birth that was wraught with intervention, fear, and risk, I learned everything I could in order to minimize those risks the next time around. I had a completely different birth experience the second time around, and it was AMAZING.
- Breastfeeding doesn't always come easily. My first had trouble, my second took to it instantly, and never let go. Regardless of those early days, it DOES get better, and it IS worth it. Just have a good supply of lanolin (I recommend PureLan 100) around, and the number of a lactation consultant, just in case! Oh, yeah, and breast pads - I didn't have any before baby came the first time around, and when the milk comes in you might just leak, but if you use the lanolin, you'll want to use them as well. I asked the hospital staff to order some for me before I left. The second time I wasn't there long enough... but I had prepurchased them.
- DEPENDS DEPENDS DEPENDS... I highly recommend buying some of these and using them (even in the hospital if you birth there) instead of the fishnet underwear and massive maxipads they provide. These were much more comfy, and far less likely to leak.
After baby comes:
- Your hair does fall out, in handfuls! I thought I was going bald, and something was horribly wrong with me, but this is normal! You don't shed as much when you're pregnant, and your hair grows at a faster rate, and is thicker - after all those hormones leave your body, that extra (and some extra) has to go... you will level back out to normal.
- You WILL adjust to the sleep deprivation - and either figure out how to nap, or just learn how to do alright on less sleep. You won't sleep on your own schedule again for quite a few years!
- Accept all the help offered to you (but don't be afraid to say "no visitors" in the earliest weeks if you just want to adjust to being the three of you), if people offer help, take it in the forms of prepared meals, holding baby so you can take showers (or leisurely baths), or help around the house. This time I'm definitely having the cleaning lady come in a few more times around the delivery! But meals are a big one, for sure!
Hmm, I'm sure this list is a work in progress, I'll have to think more on it, and get back to it, but for now I should go rescue my existing kids from the overwhelming pull of the all-powerful boob tube.
3 Comments:
I think they'll be getting lots and lots of meals from friends :)
This list is FANTASTIC! I will need to remember the DEPENDS, that sounds like a great idea.
One thing though, gals allergice to wool can't use lanolin as it is literally "wool grease" (I found this out the hard way--OUCH.)
-Your Babycenter pal, Jewels
Jewels, thanks for that note. Strangely I am allergic to wool, but did not react to the lanolin... maybe try a little in a less sensitive place if you know you have a wool allergy (like the inside of a wrist), and see how your body takes it.
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